Alexis Bradley ’17/Emertainment Monthly Staff
Last week left us with a shuddering cliffhanger; seeing Bon Temp’s vampire meet the sun and the true death–some type of “gas chamber” for vampires. This of course sends Bill (Stephen Moyer), who now knows he can see into the future, into a frenzy. His protégé, Jessica (Debora Ann Woll), is among the herd of vampires he saw slain. He believes he must stop it, that it’s Lilith’s’ will.
“You were there Jess, burning in the sun. You were one of them. So help me I will not lose you Jess,” he cries, determination set in his eyes. Like Eric (Alexander Skarsgard), Bill will do anything to protect his family.
So certain with his newly acquainted powers, Bill tries to withstand the sun. Jess goes to stop him, but his conviction stays and Bill attempts to greet the dawn with open arms. He’s so confident that even I’m tempted to believe he can walk in the day “Sookie drove a wooden stake through my chest and I pulled it out like a splinter from my finger,” Bill reassures Jess “I walked through fire. I’m having prescient visions. I am Lilith’s prophet. I feel immortal.” However, even with all his great fancy new powers flames curl around his body once the sun rises. Jessica brings him back inside as Bill screams in agony, “I don’t understand.”.
Bill rests until the day is over and wakes up to run errands. Jessica tells him that she wants to help so her lets her. He instructs her to kidnap Professor Hiro Takahashi, the creator of True Blood. Oh and of course for her to “wear something inappropriate.” Way to pimp out your daughter, Bill.
Now in a glamoured Willa Burrell (Ameila Rose Blaire) room, Eric is determine to use her to get to the Governor. Of course he goes about it in the sexual and terrifying way.
“Are you daddy’s little girl? Does he love you more than his own life? So if I tear you apart…would that devastate him.” Willa nods and he makes it evident that he means to kill her. He prepares to finish the job, fangs out and ready but she blurts out her death will not stop the Governor’s plan. “I can tell you about the experiments,” she says, but before she can elaborate on more the police began to raid into her room and Eric disappears with her into the night.
He brings her to Fangtasia, much to the distaste of Pam (Kristin Bauer Van Straten) and Tara (Rutina Wesley. Pam, much to her usual style, demands for her blood. However, Tara simply wants to glamour her and send Willa off. But Eric insists that she’s vital in order to have a edge of the Governor. He tells them to pack up and get ready to leave Fangtasia for good. Poor Eric, big government baddies taking everything aren’t they?
Willa willingly tells Eric what she knows of the experiment and these vampire camps. “They’re studying y’all. You’re biology, physiology, psychology, shit like that. It’s sick,” she says. Eric ask her were the camps are but she doesn’t know.
As if on cue the episode cuts to one of the said camps. We see a figure being dragged across a hallway. The hood comes off and it reveals to be Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian). I know he’s a bad guy but I can’t help feeling sorry for him as he looks up with pitiful puppy eyes.
“Welcome to your new home Reverend Newlin, I was once a big fan of your work,” says a creepy doctor with black gloves. Under the circumstance I doubt that’s the type of thing he wants to hear. Oh and to pour more salt on that gaping wound his wife, Sarah Newlin, appears who is now hell in high heels.
She tells him that this place is “everything that we used to dream about. God’s master plan to save the human race by eradicating the vampire race.” She glides away, leaving him with the menacing doctor who tells him he wants to know everything about Eric.
Back at camp Fangtasia, Pam and the rest prepare to leave. They go to stay at Ginger’s. Eric and Willa share a coffin because Eric doesn’t try Pam not to kill her.
She wakes him up and tries to talk to Eric, who starts to get the bleeds because it isn’t night. She tells him that her mother ran off with a vampire, which is why the Governor despises them so much. Eric infers whether or not she also likes vampires and she responds “I do like vampires, very much.” She touches the blood in his ear and tries to put it into her mouth but Eric stops her and licks it slowly off his finger. Whoa, when did we get into romance novel mode? Eric tells Willa, who is now clearly aroused by the exchange, to put her tape back now. Can’t blame the girl though, if you’re gonna die might as well die happy.
The Governor calls Eric phone, and Ginger answers like the ditz she is. Eric and Pam leave Willa and Tara alone. He informs the Governor that Willa won’t be alive for long but then Burell tracks their location. Pam and Eric prepare to leave but by the time they get back to the room Tara and Willa are gone. They leave, ordering Ginger to keep the governor distracted and say that she never saw them.
Back in the Stackhouse’s corner of the universe, Sookie (Anna Paquin) is in her room practicing her magic mojo while Jason (Ryan Kwanten) and Niall are downstairs. Jason is suddenly struck with painful headaches and Niall senses Warlow’s presences outside. He goes out to hunt him and command Sookie to stay inside as Jason follows. But once she sees her brother crumple to the ground in pain she leaves the safety of her house to save him. Niall zaps them all back inside.
Niall questions Sookie on why she isn’t afraid of Warlow and she tells him she “can barely remember the last time [she] wasn’t in danger.” All too true, Sookie. Niall leaves to continue his hunt.
Speaking of danger, the man who caused all this himself walks right into her house, no invitation needed apparently. Bill tries to get Sookie to come with him so he can synthesize her blood, but she refuses. After an extremely tense moment he leaves, but not before uttering “You’re dead to me, Sookie Stackhouse.” But she simply responds “I’m good with that.” I know Sookie wants to go back to being “the girl in the white dress” but I like this badass version of her. She isn’t taking crap from anyone now.
Niall heads to the fairy club only to find an empty room with traces of a massive attack. There’s only one fairy alive but he’s on the brink of death, and he tells him that they were attack by a powerful vampire. As he leaves he runs into the sketchy half fae Ben who tells him he was looking for the club and that he knows Sookie. They head back to the house were Sookie realizes that she can feel Ben reading her thoughts, something that never occurred with other fae. Niall senses a threat outside again but this time it turns out to just be Nora who is always hunting Warlow.
The wolves still have Emma, and Rikki (Kelly Overton) runs to Martha’s house to warn her about cops. Martha tries to get Emma to shift but she unwilling. So she leaves to talk to the officers, who now have greater jurisdiction than before and can search her house without a warrant. Rikki bullies Emma into shifting and the crisis gets divert although Rikki is annoyed at the trouble having Emma around is causing.
Meanwhile Andy (Chris Bauer) with his now preteen daughters (who have numbers instead of names!), tries to make it up to Holly by taking her to “Fort Bellefuer” to teach her how to shoot. She begins to forgive him a little.
Later that night with the werewolves we see the bright eye and extremely naive Vampire Unity Society drive up to Alcide’s pack. Oh, and with hidden cameras of course (idiots). Their presence unsettles the pack, and once they notice the camera Rikki gets pissed off and changes. Chaos erupts and Nicole is chased, now the only survivor. Alcide, in his wolf form, stops another werewolf from killing her. In the frenzy, Sam, who was shifted into an owl, swoops down and takes Emma. He sees Nicole trying to limp away and decides to help her as well.
Bill is about to walk through the cemetery when Andy stops him. He reminds him of the curfew but feels bad about having to enforce it. The conversation is friendly enough but then Bill gets a whiff of something in the air and spots a stuffed animal in the back seat. Andy tells him he has four kids now. “Children are a blessing,” Bill says, with a sinister grin appearing on his face. Oh no, not the cute little preteen Tinkerbells!
I really enjoyed this episode, You’re No Good. This season seems to be centered on family, and what the characters are willing to do to protect them, which is funny, seeing how unwholesome this show actually is. It’s one of the few things that are connecting all the plots together. After this episode I’m thrilled to see the turns True Blood is going to take this season.