Joey Sack ’17 / Emertainment Monthly Staff
Family Guy’s 12th season premieres tonight at 9p.m., and in this season, something is going to happen in Quahog that will change the dynamic of the show forever. Several sources, including Seth MacFarlane himself, have confirmed that a member of the Griffin family will die in this season, and will be replaced by a new character. The question on the minds of many fans of the show is obvious: who’s going to get the ax? But here’s an equally important question: who isn’t going to die? Here is a list of the most and least likely residents of 31 Spooner Street to be killed off in this season of Family Guy.
Peter (MacFarlane) is the main character of the show. He is the Family Guy. To kill him off would be worse than if they killed off Dr. Brennan from Bones or Dr. Grey from Grey’s Anatomy. If you take away the main character, you’re not left with much. If they got rid of Peter, there wouldn’t be any reason for the cutaway gags for which Family Guy is famous. His passing would also eliminate the interactions that the family has with characters like Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland (P.S. Cleveland is returning to Quahog this season). Peter is the enabler, in that he makes many of the events in the show happen. Family Guy just wouldn’t work without the Family Guy himself. So the chances of Peter Griffin getting killed off during this season are about zero percent.
Again, this is highly unlikely. Lois (Alex Borstein) is the motherly figure that keeps the family together when Peter goes off to act like an idiot (which is 90 percent of the time). She and Peter, being a married couple, have the potential for great storylines that have yet to be told. They’ve covered being unfaithful, they’ve had an exciting second honeymoon involving Mel Gibson and a sequel to The Passion of the Christ, and they’ve had stories about how they’re both getting old. They could have a story about setting up a will, with Peter wanting to leave everything to someone or something that doesn’t exist. They could have a story about Lois getting pregnant again (hey, that new character has to come from somewhere), and Peter not feeling ready to take care of another child. There are still so many options with the dynamic between this loving, caring, sometimes raunchy housewife and her bumbling, drunk, but lovable husband
Brian Griffin and Stewie Griffin:
I decided to talk about these two together because the chances of either of them dying are the same: zero percent. Brian is Seth MacFarlane, if he was a talking dog. I don’t think Seth would kill off one of his favorite characters to play, especially one who is identical to him, except for the species. In addition, the writers could still have many interesting stories about Brian. Maybe they could have a story where he meets one of his siblings, or where he is not allowed to go into a building because he’s a dog, even though he can talk. And drive. And drink. And walk on two legs. And is essentially a human in a dog’s body.
And then you have Stewie, the show’s matricidal, possibly homosexual breakout character with plans for world domination and a British accent. As with the characters that I have previously talked about, Stewie’s journey is far from over, with so many different stories left to tell. They could bring Stewie back to his roots, planning to kill Lois and take over the world. Honestly, Stewie hasn’t focused on world domination or matricide for quite awhile. True, he’s made several inventions, like a time machine and a parallel universe remote, but in recent seasons, there has only been one hint that he still wants to kill Lois, and that is when he saved her life in the ninth season premiere, only to swear that he would be the one to take Lois down. Or they could have a story about him growing up. After all, he’s been one year old for the entirety of the show’s 14-year run. Maybe they could have an episode dealing with Stewie’s feelings towards this new character. If it’s a new sibling, it could have the classic older sibling vying for the parents’ attention with a new baby in his world routine.
While not originally planned, Brian and Stewie’s relationship has become a fan favorite, with many fans calling the duo their favorite characters. In fact, Family Guy’s 150th episode focused entirely on them while they are trapped in a bank vault for two days and two nights. The episode went deep into their relationship and their own individual problems, and frankly, I think it’s one of Family Guy’s best episodes. To kill off Brian and Stewie would be the equivalent of Disney deciding to kill off C-3PO and R2-D2 in the new Star Wars films. They may not be the main characters, but they are fan favorites that have a great dynamic and can even have some touching moments. So, it doesn’t seem like Family Guy will be partaking in killing talking dogs or evil genius babies any time soon, especially when they have such great potential for stories.
We have now arrived at a strong possibility for a fatality. A lot of times, Meg’s (Mila Kunis) stories involve her trying to fit in with the popular kids and her getting rejected and ridiculed because of it. Seeing this story once or twice is okay, but it’s been 14 years, and still she tries to win over the stereotypical popular girls, even though she really hates them. But to say that people would be happy to see Meg go is just not true. Despite all the verbal and sometimes physical abuse she receives from her family and classmates, she is still a likeable character. When you get down to it, she is probably one of the more normal members of the Griffin household. Granted, she does have problems with depression, but compared to her idiot father, occasionally raunchy mother, and messed up younger brothers, she’s the most normal of the lot. In a show with such bizarre personalities from the main cast, the writers need a semi-normal person to balance everything out. They could have stories about her standing up for herself and could have a heartfelt story about bullying. Or they could just keep using her as a scapegoat for everything that goes wrong in Peter’s life. Wouldn’t it be a great if they had a story about her going off to college or finally finding a boyfriend that is normal and actually loves her? There are still possibilities with Meg, but the chances of her getting axed are about 50 percent.
And now we come to the most likely Griffin to push up daisies this season: the lovably dim-witted Christopher Cross Griffin (Seth Green). While Chris is quite likable, he hasn’t been featured as prominently on his own in recent seasons. Sure, he’s had some storylines with Meg, and even a storyline with Stewie, but in some ways, he’s just a young clone of Peter. There should only be a focus on one fat, socially inept oaf, and since Peter is the Family Guy, Chris seems like the most logical character to ax. I put his chances of getting killed off at 75 percent.
So, the two most logical characters to kill off are Chris and Meg. However, the more likely of the two of them to die is Chris. The only way to know for sure is to tune in to Family Guy this season to find out which character is going to be leaving the show for good.
Joey Sack ’17 / Emertainment Monthly Staff