Adam Reynoso ’15 / Emertainment Monthly Staff Writer
With the Hallmark holiday today, what better way to celebrate than with ten films that represent the opposite of everything Valentine’s Day is all about? Here’s a comprehensive list of movies that are not heart-shaped balloons and chocolates, nice-to-watch, lovey-dovey films.
10. My Bloody Valentine (2010)
Jensen Ackles in My Bloody Valentine.
There may be stuffed animals and chocolates, but this is by no means a chick flick. It is exactly as the title suggests, and hey, it has “Valentine” right in the name. Also, it’s in 3D, and that’s always a plus.
9. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Uma Thurman and Lucy Liu in Kill Bill: Vol. 1. Photo Credit: Andrew Cooper/Miramax Films.
Always entertaining, Kill Bill: Vol. 1 makes the list because on this particular day, vengeance is so much better to watch than romance. Plus, Uma Thurman fights her way through the Crazy 88 and has an awesome sword fight with Lucy Liu.
8. The Canyons (2013)
James Deen and Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons. Photo Courtesy of The Canyons.
This gem stars Lindsay Lohan and James Deen, and it feels like it deserves a spot on this list. While it could always be a potential date night movie, it’s not recommended.
7. Blue Valentine (2010)
Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams in Blue Valentine.
Also known as “Heartbreaking-Realistic-Destruction-of-a-Marriage,” the film itself is beautiful and very powerful.But be warned, it can effectively make someone believe all love is doomed.
6. Evil Dead (2013)
Jane Levy in Evil Dead. Photo Courtesy of TriStar Pictures.
Of course, the original will always remain a cult classic, but it was last year’s reboot that updated the 1981 version and really showed the love between a group of friends and demonic entities (and a little bit of nature).
5. The Avengers (2012)
Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Mark Ruffalo and Chris Hemsworth in The Avengers. Photo Courtesy of Marvel.
It’s a fun, superheroes-save-the-world-from-aliens flick. No real romantic sub-plot, and Joss Whedon’s behind it.
4. You’re Next (2013)
Sharni Vinson in You’re Next.
This is a film that executed the home invasion scenario in a refreshing way and featured one of the smartest and most lethal heroines to date. Forget about rom-coms, and check this one out at your nearest Redbox (or where ever kids rent movies these days).
3. Carrie (2013)
Chloe Moretz in Carrie. Photo Credit: Michael Gibson.
It does have prom and teenagers in love (sort of), but the story of Carrie White definitely doesn’t fall into romance category.
2. High Tension (2003)
Cécile De France in High Tension. Photo Courtesy of Lions Gate Home Entertainment.
Originally slated to come out on a Valentine’s Day, Alexandre Aja’s High Tension is something else. Set in France, the horror film has a nice twist, and it’s one of the few non-remakes from its time.
1. Antichrist (2009)
Willem Dafoe in Antichrist.
Don’t watch it. Even when it’s not Valentine’s Day. Just don’t. Maybe on Halloween, but that’s only a maybe.
